Sunday, August 29, 2010

School Begins

It has been a crazy month with school and military obligations. There are moments when I think I am doing well. For example, I was able to attend class this week and deal with relatively tight quarters. It can often be difficult to concentrate when I am in crowded rooms. With assistance, I was able to take notes and participate in class discussion. However, I also have moments of realization that I still have a long way to go. I was at my reserve center this month and had a massive panic attack. During my advancement exam I sat next to an individual that triggered my PTSD. It caused me to have flashbacks and decreased my ability to concentrate. This experience prevented me from taking my advancement exam and happened in front of my chain of command. It took several days to recover from this experience. It is hard to describe the level of exhaustion that can occur after a particularly bad episode. It can take up to a week for my exhaustion and anxiety levels to get to a level that allows me to become a better participant in relationships. This experience has been a good reminder that I need to finish my military obligation. It has also reminded me the importance of getting help and seeking support. I am fortunate to have the resources and friends to help me in my journey. I will admit that I can not wait until I have a canine companion to be a part of my support team.

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